Taking the Great out of Britain – welcome to your new Brexit vehicle insignia

You probably won’t be able to get any fuel to be able to do this, but if you decide to drive abroad in a British registered vehicle then you need to display your country of origin.

Back in the day, before we had joined the EUSSR Common Market I watched my Dad fit a GB sticker to the rust-bucket otherwise known as an Austin A40, to cross on the ferry and drive through Belgium and Holland to visit my grandparents in Germany. Your GB car sticker predates EU membership. Even oo7 had one.

James Bond’s sticker is no longer valid as of tomorrow. No, really. Bite me. Her Majesty’s benighted and incompetent ship of fools masquerading as a government has decreed it so. No. honestly. I’m really not shitting you.

If you want it alongside your number plate to cover up that pesky blue EU roundel, then you will have to display this full Brexit regalia

s-l1600

Now since my vehicle is old enough that the hated EUSSR insignia is stuck on to be legal at that time and looks sort of like this

2109-s-l1600

so I have the option to peel that off, and get myself a nice, vanilla UK sticker a bit like the one my Dad used fifty years ago, except that he used a GB sticker like James Bond.

2109-uk

I’ll go that way rather than the number plate version because people waving union jacks around declaring their Britishness in the EU comes across a little bit, er, gammon.

Where the hell is James Bond when you need him? We used to know how to be British with some semblance of class, even if the Continentals had already sussed out hat you couldn’t trust perfidious Albion before 1973.  Come to think of it, where the bloody hell is King Arthur in Albion’s hour of need? It’s all very well to lob Excalibur into the Lake off Pons Perilis but you’re asleep at the switch, mate.

2109-arthur

the last sleep of King Arthur in Avalon

Would you mind awakening and waving the old sword at the fourth-division crew in charge of the Kingdom of Logres who seem hell-bent on cocking up anything that can be cocked up, and then a fair few things besides.

Brexit. Taking the Great out of Britain. You really couldn’t make it up. What are we going to change it to when Scotland goes its own way?

Nostalgia nuts can take comfort that there’s a plentiful supply of GB stickers for sale on Ebay, indeed there are special Remoaner editions with full blue stars. But if you want one to do its proper job, you need a UK one. Beats me what Ukraine is going to do. Greedy bastards that we are, it looks like we bagged ISO country code GB and UK, although the UK is exceptionally reserved so the ISO is with James Bond on the primacy of GB. With 111 years of tradition, the backing of 007 and the ISO I’m not sure why we trust the judgement of Grant ‘there is no shortage of fuel‘ Shapps, but that’s the ship of fools for you. This is the same fellow who tells us that

Shapps said there were no supply problems at the six refineries

Hmm, apart from the second largest one in Britain about to go bust, eh Grant? Chin up and get a grip old boy.

29 thoughts on “Taking the Great out of Britain – welcome to your new Brexit vehicle insignia”

    1. > you could just plug your car into a power socket…

      Funny you should say that, I have one of those electrified bike wheel mod kits on its way. I guess they’ll need a truck to deliver it. Oh well. Oft gang agley, and all that… Let’s look on the bright side. Even if I were to take it on the ferry to France I wouldn’t need a GB/UK/Gammon sticker

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      1. It’s more range I am after. But I am a relatively slack cyclist as it is – the 7 mile journey to work was about as much as my endurance was good for, and that was with a working day to recuperate for the journey back. I’m aware that there are many sorts that would consider that a milquetoast cyclist, but I’m old enough and ugly enough to take the flak 😉

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    1. Yeah – I missed the chance to see it at the Tate just after the GFC. I kind of wonder whether Arthur sleeps on because he can’t face the pain of what has come to pass – a facepalm as he grinds out “for God’s sake Britain, you can do so much better” between gritted teeth. Or perhaps muttering “there’s only greed and evil in those who rule today”.

      Still, if he manages to rise up at least Llamrei doesn’t need a petrol pump, though the M4 might take a bit of getting used to.

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      1. Sure – but at a few days ride to Westminster (from Glastonbury) the Llameri/Arthur combo will have other needs that no doubt will also soon be in short supply! FYI, according to google, shortest – and quickest – route (by car, bicycle or even shanks pony!) is effectively A303/M3

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      2. Well, if he starts from Glastonbury rather than Wales then looking at the black plastic cow eggs* lying around in the Somerset countryside I’d say Lamrei won’t want for chow. Whether the digestion is up to taking on the agricultural runoff that ends up in the rhynes is another matter, though cows on the Levels seems to be able to drink that without obvious ill effects. Could be thin pickings if he starts from Wales at the start, though I was in Herefordshire a week or so back and there’s plenty of cow eggs to run a horse on there.

        If Art can winkle old Merlin out from Nimue’s tender ministrations and get up a posse on the grounds that Logres in imperilled through corruption and culpable incompetence, then with a bit of ancient magic he could get a march on. The Matter of Britain is up a creek without a paddle and in need of succour PDQ. And his arrival at Number 10 demanding competence and coherence with a pointed prejudice would make for great television.

        * hay bales wrapped in black plastic, rather than the modern-day schoolyard myth

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  1. Lest we forget our secretary of state for transport, the right honorable grant shapps, also masqueraded as ‘millionaire web marketer’ Richard Green for his first couple of years in parliament, marketing his highly sophisticated investment work “Stinking Rich 3”.

    I expect his promise to enable his clients to “make a ton of cash by Christmas” will be particulary welcomed by hard pressed ordinary folk up and down the land facing universal credit cuts and higher bills.

    Source: https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/mar/15/grant-shapps-admits-he-had-second-job-as-millioniare-web-marketer-while-mp

    As for the new name for Great Britain after Scotland leaves I would like to nominate “England plus” since that will not require any further changes providing the Isle Of Man doesn’t abandon the union.

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    1. Is there no limit to our dear Grant’s multifarious talents? Apparently he’s a pro bono Wikipedia editor with a doppelganger Michael Green.

      > England plus

      EP is sort of available at the ISO, with the added Brexit benefit of providing a gratuitous sock in the mush to the European Patent office who have it ‘Indeterminately reserved’. I’m sure the Bad Boys of Brexit could arrange this. Win-win. Let’s hope the Spanish don’t kick up, else we’ll need Merlin to act above his pay grade and resurrect Francis Drake.

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    2. If BP could rebrand as ‘beyond petroleum’, GB could still be used as ‘gammon britain’, saving a lot of time, expense and disruption on all the various associated labelling change costs, but that would rule out lots of lucrative contracts to Tory donors with space in their pockets for more taxpayer funding.

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      1. @ermine, re: the GB abbreviation and not having BJ’s superior learnin’ skiwz, I must ‘fess up Sir, I actually got the idea of recycling GB from watching Farage on his new Gammon Brexshit news channel, when trying my own vom-bucket challenge. (How many seconds can you watch and hear Farage at the same time without throwing up)

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      2. Intriguingly, the Torygraph’s paywall seems to have become less aggressive all of a sudden. I clear cookies with every browser restart, and was able to read a fair amount, albeit with popups and aggression about subscribing. I’m still of the view pressreader and the library is the easiest win, though perhaps if I don’t want to feed the Torygraph Beast perhaps the new regime will work.

        Ofcom seems to be of the opinion political slurs are small beer, compared to those associated with protected characteristics. Not sure how they feel about scum. After all, Sarkozy got there first fifteen years ago, though given his current travails perhaps that’s not a good example to follow. I guess things might change if Bozza gets his bestie Paul Dacre into the job, to take on all those leftie woke snowflakes in t’media, or at least stick up for the poor downtrodden righty snowflakes feeling the lack of love at times.

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  2. It’s not just number plates.

    The photo card for my driving licence recently expired, and when the replacement turned up, of course, there was a Union Jack on it (the ugly thing made even worse by the execrable graphic design, all random capitals and mismatched fonts – this is how they look : https://www.bennetts.co.uk/-/media/bikesocial/2021-february-images/driving-licences-after-brexit/uk-driving-licences-number-plates-after-brexit_thumb.ashx).

    I also just got a GHIC card, which is the new version of the old and now (for obvious reasons) defunct EHIC card – and, guess what, another swathe of red, white and blue.
    (https://www.connexionfrance.com/var/connexion/storage/images/_aliases/articleimage/media/images/web/ghic-card/1262358-1-eng-GB/Ghic-card.jpg)

    I don’t really want to carry either of these documents now that they’ve been soiled by this desperate nationalism.

    Honestly, they’re obsessed.

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  3. Perhaps rather than England Plus, the UK could switch name straight to Lower Ruritania, a more fitting indication of where it is headed.

    It is genuinely dispiriting to watch these fools do such deep and irreparable damage to the country. And the angle of fall seems to be getting steeper.

    Lancelot meanwhile is desperately shaking Arthur by the shoulder ‘Sire! Sire! Awake!’
    ‘Wassup… Whaddya want… Bggroff Lance’

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  4. I guess the switch from GB to UK only makes sense as a farsighted covering of bases. If Scotland ever manages to vote itself independent, then the United Kingdon of England, Wales and Northern Ireland still works. Apart from that it could probably be argued that it is a long delayed catch up – I mean the internet domain is .uk, although acording to Wikepedia list of ISO 3166 country codes we also have .gb. But really it is one of those mythical brexit benefits.

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    1. Not bad, once we’ve whittled it down to the United Kingdom of Wessex and Mercia then it’s time for King Alfred to join Arthur in the Ghosts of (Great) Britain Past and whup some learnin’ into the incompetent varmints…

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  5. Dunno if this issue is getting a lot of press where you live, but over here in the States we are on the verge of self-inflicting a smashup that will make all of Brexit look like a scrape on your car’s bumper….. and thanks to our Treasuries’ status as the world’s reserve currency, everyone may find themselves injured to some degree, regardless of their proximity to us.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. > This previous (2016) “naughty words” list from OFCOM

      Somewhat to my embarrassment I had to look four of them up, though I had enough imagination to solve the curtains 😉

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