It’s a dirty job, Dom, but somebody’s gotta do it

This is a purely UK domestic rant about a special adviser to the Prime Minister who took it upon himself to drive halfway up the country in a car with not one but most likely two active carriers of coronavirus, and once he felt better, drive 30 miles to a local beauty spot with his wife and kids in the car to test if he could see OK to drive back to London 😉  The dog once ate my homework too, Dom.

For the record I’m actually grateful to Dom for apparently jumping to the fact that lockdown needed to happen, even if it turned out that in his view it only applied to the little people. His supposed boss was dithering, still in thrall to an Englishman’s right to go down the pub so they could potentially die like a dog in a ditch.

However, there’s taking the piss and there’s taking the piss, and charging up the M1 for a couple of hundred miles with two active carriers of the pestilence to visit his second home aged parents’ farm is taking the piss on a new level. So I shared this sentiment with my MP, James Heappey, who has never voted against the boss, because he’s a fellow on the make. But he ought to get the feeling that some of his flock think that Dom took the piss to excess:

Dear James Heappey,

My mother is living in [redacted, let’s just say she is also one of James’ flock].

I have not seen her since February, which is to protect her and the other residents against Covid-19. Because:lockdown. Something that does not appear to apply to Dominic Cummings, a SPAD who appears to be above the law, according to the Prime Minister’s mendacious address on the telly1.

Can you kindly explain to me the reasons for the pusillanimous behaviour of the weak leader of your party in not sacking DC? Dominic Cummings not only decides that the lockdown rules didn’t apply to him, but that he was perfectly entitled to carry a notifiable disease 260 miles to a second home so he could have a more chilled experience, and then delivers a litany of self-serving entitled bullshit claiming he has done nothing wrong? I do not find his childcare a valid reason to break the law and expose another part of the country to carriers of the disease – he started out in London, the capital city of the UK where I am sure such services are to be had.

Then he compounds his outrageous sense of privilege by going on a jaunt to a local beauty spot with wife and child in the car ‘to test his eyesight’. What a bloody ridiculous claim – why put his family members in harm’s way, even if he doesn’t give a damn about the other poor bastards on the road, who presumably are expendable plebs? And why not a drive round the block? The man drips with a sense of entitlement and couldn’t care less attitude. The correct response was “I screwed up, I am sorry for breaking the rules”. Not “I was right to do what everybody else wasn’t allowed to do, because I am above the law”.

Dominic Cummings is lying, lowlife scum and needs to be kicked out of the running of this country ASAP, because he has shown bad character. Boris Johnson needs to man up and stand for something for once in his irresponsible life. And so do you. Educate Boris Johnson that Dominic Cummings actions are not acceptable, did not look acceptable to this member of the public, and the blatant hypocrisy will mean more people will die in the Autumn/Winter second wave of coronavirus because people will not follow the official recommendation – after all, Dom can do what he damn well pleases why shouldn’t we, even if other people don’t even get to see their loved ones off or have to let them die alone?

[redacted] It’s fair enough that Cummings screwed up, to err is human. If he refuses to acknowledge that then he should pay the price. Before his “I was right anyway” claims an apology might have been acceptable, even if it wasn’t good enough in the case of the scientist that was pilloried2 last month, who unlike Cummings wasn’t an active coronavirus carrier at the time. Dominic Cummings is NOT above the law of the land. Or is he? It is YOUR job as a politician to uphold the rule of law. Do the job we hire you for, and stand for what’s right, not what’s expedient for once in your life, because this is a mortal risk for some people. Dominic Cummings job is not more important than British lives in the Autumn/Winter.

Or at the very least explain to me exactly why it is that the law of the land doesn’t apply to Dominic Cummings?

Yours sincerely,

These gorgeous choppers are from another mustelid, the Pine Marten, which also has the endearing habit of eating grey squirrels but not reds. What’s not to like

It won’t make a damn bit of difference to what happens, and will be filed in the round filing cabinet, but I feel better for getting it off my chest.

  1. The link to said BoJo performance on t’telly was not in the original letter, but hey, it’s a top piece of blather that should be preserved 
  2. The scientist was Neil Ferguson, pilloried by the Daily Telegraph. Oddly enough the torygraph is not full of the sound and fury about Dom’s jaunt halfway up the country as an active carrier. All Ferguson was after was a shag FFS. 

34 thoughts on “It’s a dirty job, Dom, but somebody’s gotta do it”

  1. My understanding was that before one could start their driving test they had to show they had sufficient eye sight, perhaps that requirement will now also be changed to ‘have a go but be warned it’s a minor if you plow someone down’?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Heappey is my MP, too ermine, and I don’t expect that my email to him will ‘deserve’ a reply. There is a trick with young James, though. Mention ‘cameras’ or, even better, ‘television’ and he will appear like the shopkeeper in Mr Benn – as if by magic. Good rant, though!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t get why no-one thought to ask DC why his wife couldn’t drive the three of them home. Peston asked that question later during BJ’s news conference but, natch, didn’t get an answer. He should have asked DC earlier on.

    You would think that over the course of the weekend they could have hatched up a more convincing pack of lies to explain away what was clearly a non-essential drive to Barnard Castle for pleasure/entertainment before driving back to the rather less picturesque surroundings of London the next day.


    1. That’s probably living proof that offense is the best defense. I have to admit that I have admiration for Dom’s adoption of the old Secret Service maxim never explain, never apologise. They were all just too busy scratching their heads going Eh, what did he just say?


  4. I’ve just found Tesco credit cards won’t increase your credit limit once you are a retired millionaire with NO INCOME (age < 55). Maybe I need to track down the CEO and make a suggestion.

    Or try my card with another provider. The current weedy limits aren't enough to replace one used car with another not quite so old.


    1. I feel your pain. That is why I have hung on to my credit cards from when I was employed. Now I have a pension income and a P60 I can probably borrow again, but that gap between FIRE and 55 is a tough one. Presumably the need fora credit card is to give you extra comeback against Del Boys with Section 75


      1. That guide points out that the whole price doesn’t need to be paid by CC and that looks like a solution.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Although it doesn’t seem clear in the guide, I’m under the impression you also have to pay at least £100 of the transaction on the CC. Which shouldn’t be a challenge on a motor, but could catch you if part-paying for a holiday and trying to reduce % based CC charges


      3. I’m sure I’ve heard it said several times on Moneybox and/or by Martin Lewis that putting just 1p of a purchase on a credit card gives section 75 protection as long as the total purchase is over £100.

        Don’t pay be cc o via PayPal though as I believe (not sure) that may disqualify it.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. > I’m sure I’ve heard it said several times on Moneybox and/or by Martin Lewis that putting just 1p of a purchase on a credit card gives section 75 protection as long as the total purchase is over £100.

        Yup, totally my bad for spreading misinformation. It’s in MSE’s guide – to wit:

        A trick to help – pay the deposit by credit card and you’re covered

        The law’s specific on this, you get the protection for the whole cost of an item or service, even if you only pay for a part of it – even just 1p would count – on credit. The only condition is that what you’re buying costs more than £100 and less than £30,000.


  5. Totally agree with everything you say. Pity the journalists were not quick enough to pick up on the BS he came out with.
    Though part of me is conflicted as wish the journalists and country in general were as incensed over the Care Home and PPE fiasco.
    A 45 year old Care Home Worker who was one of the nicest people I ever met recently died. Feel sickened that lack of PPE was likely the cause.


  6. Is anyone really surprised at this stinking hypocrisy? A nation of conditioned forelock-tuggers elected a bunch of sociopaths after a few years of behaviour showing exactly that. They were then told excuses for said elite not following their own laws that a 10-year old could see through, but what else did they expect? The rulers now have a full term unchallenged to do whatever takes their fancy, so why wouldn’t they think it funny to tell the plankton they rule that it’s raining when they piss in their faces, as everything that came before was believed too. Come the next election, any survivors of this surreal drama will re-elect the Teflon party.


  7. The mask slips.

    This looks very similar to the late Tory party of the early 90s where the behavioural scandals never stopped coming.

    Edwina Currie & John Major (vomits).

    Liked by 2 people

    1. At least like Ferguson they only wanted a shag. Whereas the f*ckwit Dom is causing behavioural changes that threaten my mother right now. The South-West had a low prevalence but they’ve now shut Weston general hospital because it’s rife there. Although it’s not the hospital she usually ends up in it’s not a million miles away.

      Now I know you’ve got to go of something, and she’s well into extra time, but if her number’s up in the next couple of months as a result of the ensuing wave because precious Dom couldn’t be arsed to sort his childcare in London and fancied a break so everybody picks up on the idea that rules are guidelines, then I will curse the bastard for being such an entitled shitbag. There’s a whole difference in hypocrisy between telling people to stick with family values while having a shag on the Q.T. and stamping on the whole stay home to avoid spreading death message. Not to mention going for a 60 mile round trip to check if you’re blind or not. That’s the most impressive ‘the dog ate my homework’ excuse I’ve heard in my entire life. Go big or go home, eh Dom?

      Be interesting to see how well the stay home message plays if/when there’s a second wave later on in the year. Poorly, I’d guess.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The truth always needs to be dragged out of this lot. Completely untrustworthy. If they told me the time I’d check my watch.
        As if his “interpretation” of the rules wasn’t enough, the editing of his blog post from last year to reinforce his superbrain status demonstrates even more of his character. A bunch of arch manipulators – if they expended as much energy governing the country as they do spinning messages and whipping their MPs into tweeting support and parroting stock phrases, we’d all be better for it.


  8. Christ, people are being excitable. The effect of the lockdown I suppose.

    As far as I can see O/L his excuse for driving north with his wife and child passes muster – with me at least.

    His trip to Barnard Castle probably doesn’t. But then I note the near silence when a Red Princeling, young Kinnock, drove from Wales to London just to wish his father a happy birthday. The comparison persuades me that this is largely a stunt to try to bring down Boris, or stop Brexit, or something like that.

    The country has been prone to hysteria ever since the death of Diana. Pity, but there it is.


    1. Although it’s probably not a surprise that we are probably not on the same side of the spectrum, ,and yes I detest Cummings with a vengeance because he is responsible for much shit IMO. However, with all due respect

      > try to bring down Boris, or stop Brexit, or something like that.

      a) there’s a bigger war on than Brexit

      b) Nobody seems to have voted for the eminence grise, who appears to be so essential to the running of the country, particularly now that, as David Starkey opined Boris is a broken man so he seems to be making the decisions, although they don’t apply to him

      As for your Kinnock silence whataboutery, see here, here andhere for example.

      Cummings matters, because he is at the top, and his high profile matters. He’s in charge.

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Interesting that you bring up the death of Diana. That was an eye opener for me. I realised I wasn’t living in the country I thought I was. Kim Il Sung had died not long before in North Korea and I remember watching the hysteria there and thinking how disturbing were the effects of brain washing there. Then Diana died in the UK and the place went weird on me. I was getting my hair cut on the day of her funeral and the barber was telling me it was the worst day in his life. Bizarre. I don’t think this penchant for hysteria is new however it just got pushed out of fashion for a while by the stiff upper lip thing. Look back in history and there are plenty of examples of a taste for melodrama in the UK particularly London.


  9. Ha. I see that the minor minister, Ross, who resigned over the Cummings affair had driven down from Moray to London on the excuse that he wanted a better broadband service. But he was a Remainer so I suppose we won’t hear much more about that. Pah!


    1. When I was a nipper at skool and did something out of order, and proferred “well he did it” as to why it was all OK, the response was characteristically “if he put his head in a gas oven, would you too” before the required bollocking was issued.

      And seriously, Brexit? WTAF? The cheerleaders of that clusterfuck are in charge for the next four years. It will happen, though not exactly as advertised because: plans, contact with the enemy, etc. But there really is a bigger war on.


  10. This situation that we have is a bit riduculous – Dominic Cummings clearly thinks that he doesn’t need to apologies and he is invunerable to outside criticism.
    What doesn’t get your fired makes you strong.
    This must be what “taking back control” is all about – an unelect(ed/able) pyschopath running the country.

    However, for a bit of balance I read the comments on the Telegraph – very different opinion from most of them – he did nothing wrong, remoaners just don’t like him for Brexit, blah blah blah.
    I seriously was shocked by what was written – but then again we all see the world the way we want to see things.


    1. Yeah, as a tip for people who want to read the torygraph my library gives access to pressreader where you can read the paywalled site for free. For you, obviously you are supporting the Barclay Brothers via your council tax.

      I think this is Game Theory Dom. He’s Marmite, if you love him you aren’t bovvered even if he shits in your cereal, if you hate him then he probably does wrong when he opens the door.

      Clearly what he’s done hacks some people off, and there ought to be a law against driving while suspected blind, but laws don’t work with the Trump/Brexit crew. So there’s nothing to be gained in giving a shit. If he succeeds in brazening it out then he is untouchable – Trump with brains. If he doesn’t, well, he hasn’t lost anything he hadn’t already lost. As the crew at unherd tell us, this is the secret of Trump’s success. It’s always good to know what road you’re on. As BoJo reminded us with his let’s move on from this comment, laws don’t apply to Dom.


  11. UPDATE: That nice Mr Heappey got back in touch. I think he got off to a bad start with ‘Dear constituent’, has he never heard of mail merge or does he really mean to say I DGAF from the get go? But at least he did reply, thusly

    Dear constituent,

    Thank you for your correspondence over the way that the Prime Minister’s Chief Adviser Dominic Cummings travelled to Durham during the lockdown. I have spent the last week reading over a thousand emails and letters and making sure that your views are shared with my colleagues in Number 10.

    As I said on Twitter on Saturday, I was reluctant to rush to condemn Dominic Cummings because I did not know exactly what the circumstances were which lead him to take such action. We have since heard Mr Cummings’ account, it has been scrutinised by the press, and Durham Police confirmed yesterday that they would not be taking any action.

    We will have all had our doomsday plan for what we would do if all the adults in our household were incapacitated by this virus and young children needed caring for. I would not have needed to travel as we are blessed with friends and family very nearby, but the guidance did allow for journeys to be made to access childcare in this exceptional circumstance.

    I appreciate how the slightest suspicion that there could be one rule for some and another for the rest of us is maddening in the extreme and I have every sympathy with those who say they would not have done as Dominic Cummings did. I have even more sympathy for those who when faced with circumstances no less exceptional, stayed at home despite the emotional and physical costs to them and their families.

    I believe Mr Cummings’ position would have been untenable had Durham Police decided to take action. However, they have decided not to do so.

    These are frustrating times for us all. We are fearful of this awful virus and we all yearn to be able to go fully about our lives once again. In the coming weeks, we will be able to meet in small groups outdoors, our children will be able to return to school, businesses will start to re-open and our High Streets will start to come out of hibernation too.

    These measures can only happen if the R rate continues to fall and that only happens if the virus is kept under control. This requires a huge national effort to test, track and trace and the Government’s priority is making sure that this mechanism is working at full capacity as quickly as possible.

    Today, I met with local council leaders, local small business owners and representatives of Somerset’s visitor economy. Over the last few months I’ve been doing similar every week, keeping in touch employers in our area as well as local health trusts, care homes, farmers, school leaders, voluntary organisations and myriad others who play important parts in our community and our economy. It is clear that, both nationally and locally, there are profound challenges that lie ahead as we navigate a route out of this pandemic.

    Whilst I understand the anger this has caused and although this may not be the answer you wanted; I hope you’ll agree that we should now draw a line under this unfortunate incident and move on.

    During the last week, I have continued to receive many requests for help from local businesses and vulnerable people in our community. It has been important to read all of the emails and letters I have received over Mr Cummings but it will be impossible to correspond on this matter any further, without impact on my ability to help those who need my assistance as their Member of Parliament.

    Yours ever,


    Hmm, let me summarise that for you, James

    1) There is one law for DC and one for the rest of you, we were able to nobble Durham Police presumably by saying this is political
    2) That’s all, I am following the boss’s line that you little people can STFU now
    3) Yes it would be nice if you little people continue to follow the rules because otherwise people might die/important people might be inconvenienced
    4) No further correspondence will be entered into


    1. I had one of those, too. as the late Ian Dury once sang, “it’s better to be a mug than smug”. As a Somerset pleb, I know know my place.

      Liked by 1 person

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